When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253


“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”  Oscar Wilde

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”  Oscar Wilde

(Source: defpro)

notinfrontofthecat:

betterandbitter:

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

God this is so important. 

Aww.. I’m reblogging this from my boyfriend and he is the best person in the world for seeing this and thinking of me and reblogging it.

notinfrontofthecat:

betterandbitter:

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

God this is so important. 

Aww.. I’m reblogging this from my boyfriend and he is the best person in the world for seeing this and thinking of me and reblogging it.

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

officertoast:

OH NO, SHE HAS ARMPIT HAIR
WHATEVER SHALL WE DO
HIDE THE CHILDREN

"a step too far"really??? lol omfgArmpit hair. is a step too far.
TOO FAR INDEED.

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

officertoast:

OH NO, SHE HAS ARMPIT HAIR

WHATEVER SHALL WE DO

HIDE THE CHILDREN

"a step too far"

really??? lol omfg

Armpit hair. is a step too far.

TOO FAR INDEED.

How I gender identify: The long story.

Everyone has a different experience of and with gender, so I’d like to share mine. 

I was AFAB (Assigned Female At Birth), and as far as parts go -don’t ever ask someone about their parts, no matter their gender - but I will tell you, mine are still as they were when I was born. 

Easily put, growing up, I didn’t know that “gender dysphoria” was a thing, I merely thought, “right now, I’m a girl, but people change and hopefully sooner rather than later, I will not be a girl anymore.” I think it’s worth noting that I don’t believe in “girl traits” and “boy traits.” No one is predispositioned to like blue or pink, based solely on the bits between their legs. So while some folks might say I had more “male” tendencies, I will be the first to argue that tree climbing, rough-housing, spitting, and burping the alphabet, are activities for everyone. I’ve never liked the term “tomboy” that felt condescending. I didn’t feel like the female imitation of masculinity, in my mind and understanding, I WAS masculine. I felt masculine even while playing dolls, even while talking about boys, and to this day; even while kissing them. 

It was the pronouns that got me. I understood as a child why everyone was mistaken, I looked like other little girls, so why shouldn’t they call me she? It wasn’t their fault, and frankly, I didn’t know there were other options. I knew that the narrator in my head was male, or at least male sounding, and difficult though it was to explain, I used to tell adults that “some of the people in my head are boys.”  So I waited and I worried, and as I aged into a preteen body and was allowed to dress myself, I looked more and more “masculine” - that is, I postured male - without knowing it - this made things interesting. As a scruffy haired 11 year old, in a t-shirt and jeans, I got a lot of “he’s” and “Mr.’s,” by mistake, even more  often when I began going exclusively by, “V.”  It would be years before I learned words like “transgendered” or “intersex” or “gender identity” but I knew that nothing felt quite as special and correct as when strangers called me, “he.” 

I learned about intersex and middlesex people first. I was around the same age, 11 or 12, when a story came on, interviewing a number of different intersex people who had been incorrectly assigned at birth. What I enjoyed most about the story, was that the majority of the people interviewed did not fit into one gender or another, that is - ANY gender that was assigned to them at birth would have been incorrect. I looked to my mother, who was also watching the story, and stared quizzically. I could never find the courage to ask, but I hoped that if I looked at her like I already knew something, she might reveal to me that I had actually been like the people in the news story all along. No luck. 

By the time I was 15 I was still, unknowingly, posturing masculine. It’s difficult to explain that I didn’t know the difference. I knew that girls wore jeans and t-shirts, and so did I wear jeans and t-shirts, but it was as though a perception filter would not allow me to see the difference in the way I dressed and carried myself vs. my female peers.When presented with the option, “you should wear clothes that fit your body differently” I would say, outwardly, “but I don’t like those clothes” and inwardly follow with, “because they’re for girls!” Up until 15, I still had not bled. It’s something I’ve written about a lot but, until I started bleeding, I still held out hope that my internal organs knew what my brain had always been telling me, “our body is not meant to bloom into womanhood.” But alas, near the end of my freshman year of high school, I got my first period. It felt like a betrayal, and to this day I get quite excruciating cramps (so do many people with a hormone imbalance) - injury to insult. 

I had been plotting, since age 12 that as soon as I turned 19, I could have my breasts surgically removed. I would tell everyone, I figured, that I had cancer and they just needed to go, and I could finally look more like myself. I didn’t know at the time that this was a thing that people do, or that it could be done without lying to a doctor. 

I learned to posture male by being myself, I learned to posture female by imitation, and by the time I was 18 I was getting pretty good. I feel that I should mention that I am 4 feet and 10 inches tall. I am a small, small animal and it has not made my life easy, not in the least. Just as bad or worse (this is only FOR ME, everyone else has their own feelings on the matter!) than being constantly “she’d” was being constantly mistaken for a child of eight to 12 years old, I found and find it grating and the feeling of hopelessness it gives me is not one I’ve been able to easily shake. That said, I chose to learn to posture female because it is easier. That sounds awful but it’s a tough world for such a short dude. To add gender issues to that mix is not only frustrating but scary and dangerous. 

I’d like to pause to acknowledge all the cis men, *trans men, and people who posture masculine while also being under 5 feet tall [*in a culture where this is not the norm.] I know that you all take some shit, because even posturing female, I take some shit, and people are the culture that I live in is cruel to people about their bodies in many ways, and men, especially short men, don’t get enough god damn credit. It’s tough, and you’re tough for dealing with it, and that’s fucking sexy. 

I was not tough enough. And the more I started to posture femme, the worse the gender dysphoria became. It was around 18 or 19 that it was the worst; I could not even consider my own gender without feeling as though I might burst into tears (which is sort of frustrating when you want people to take you seriously as a man, but your culture is fucked and doesn’t understand that men cry, get it together, people.). Every “she” stung hard and to make matters worse, I was dating a cis man who did not understand that gender variation even exists!

I remember the day I started birth control. The previous week I’d had a particularly painful period, I’d blacked out in my hallway on the way to the bathroom and was unable to get up from the floor for more than half an hour, so I went to talk to a doctor. My doctor seemed kind and fairly understanding, and suggested that I get on birth control to help with cramps, and of course, to be on the safe side where sex was concerned. I agreed and she wrote the prescription and asked if I had any questions. I did. The first thing to come to my mind was, “do you think this could affect any gender weirdness I’m feeling?” I don’t know if I sounded more shaken or hopeful, but her reaction made me uncomfortable. The doctor looked up from the papers she was shuffling and down her glasses at me, “I think you need to talk to a different type of doctor about that, ok?” I looked away and brushed it off…but really…what? 

Here she was, prescribing a hormone that would have large scale effects on my body and she could not tell me how it might affect my brain? Isn’t that important? Isn’t that something that other patients ask? 

I am 25 now, as I write this. I’ve been on BC for seven years and speaking solely from my experience, I can say that yes, I experienced a difference in how I related to my own gender since starting the pill [estrogen]. It’s not that taking the pill has MADE ME posture female more often, or that it has made me more convincing, but it seems to have succeeded in making doing so less painful. This is only my experience. 

And of course, I am just not always comfortable with feminine pronouns. I’m just not. But I largely attribute my ability to talk about (and write about) my gender experiences to the fact that I am taking a hormone that seems to have helped me cope, even if it’s just a little bit.

So that’s how I got here. This is where I am. 

I’m V., my preferred pronoun is “them, they” - and I am now comfortable talking about it, if you have any questions. 

Whew!